World Order Has Collapsed: Praise Our New Leader

As many of you are aware, the Waifu Wars have continued to be waged all across the planet. In these dark times, supplies have been scarce, governments have been toppled, and many Megumi fans have been butthurt. But today is a day for rejoicing, as the fighting has come to an end with the rise of a new glorious empire led by an enthusiastic leader. He's the alpha and the omega, the wowcat extraordinaire- Dexomega!

With a new regime comes a new world order. I have been forced given the privilege to provide you a guide to our leader's plans for this new civilization. Let's begin!



With the bureaucrats now out of power, Dexomega has restructured the government to better reflect the vast interests of his new world empire as equally as he feels obligated (author's note: he doesn't feel obligated to represent you equally unless you 100% agree with him on everything. Whine more, please.) and as such the new format is as follows:

Harem Lead

This is the top position, and thus the one Dexomega himself will hold. His roles include dictating every aspect of our lives and complaining loudly that various websites have been programmed poorly.


The Harem


The Harem is, most simply, a replacement for the overly large cabinet the 'president' used to have. In order to streamline things and keep everything moving efficiently, it now has five members.


This office holds the economic advisory power in our new glorious state. The Tsundere has the ability to shut down the 'protagonists' (business owners) when they get too 'handsy' (make too much money) through the power of adjusting the set market values of items using various terminology set up by the terminology board. The opposite is also possible. For example, if AT&T starts losing too much money, the Tsundere might issue an 'It's Not As If I Like You or Anything' bill, which would provide aid for the company.



This office is the head of resource distribution and environmental protection. The Kuudere is chosen from a series of candidates to find the one best suited to protect resources: one that can suck it up when he destroys nature to place enormous cat statues all over the globe. In private, the Kuudere position is entirely loyal to the Harem Lead, despite appearing to be against his destructive habits to the general public. In this way, the government can appear to have checks and balances while the supreme rule is entirely given to Dexomega.



This office is in charge of social issues. The problem with society as we now know it is that it sometimes lacks that greater purpose: to serve our glorious leader. As such, the yandere is not only undyingly loyal to the Harem Lead, but will also eliminate anyone that dares stand in his way using the ability to 'protect the love interest'. Coincidentally, the Yandere office is also the supreme commander of the military.



This office is in charge of public relations. Most of the Harem Lead's speeches go through the Deredere, which possesses an extremely energetic attitude at all times, as they must charm the listeners with the gloriousness that is our one true leader. Also, Dexomega enjoys having cute people read nice things about him, it's kind of a thing of his.



This office is in charge of much of the bureaucracy, especially the 27 surveillance agencies employed by the Harem Lead to make sure his citizens aren't 'cheating' on him. The Dandere specializes in observing quietly and only making their feelings and observations heard when completely alone with the Harem Lead. In this way, Dexomega is able to be constantly aware of all citizens' activities so that he may better control them.



The state has, through great examination, determined that the best way to prevent future Waifu Wars is to establish the Church of Dexomega, a powerful institution. Let's go into the details:



The Church of Dexomega has three areas of worship: Marika, TVTropes, and Dexomega himself. By brainwashing- I mean influencing- citizens into following the rules in these three categories, we hope to create a similar mindset in all of the new a World Order's denizens.

1. The Marika portion of the church will focus our attention on the one true sacrificial Waifu. Worship is mandatory and frankly we are just surprised that there is anyone that doesn't already do so. As the great tenant of this order exclaims, Marika died for your sins.


2. TVTropes are an important conditioning phase of the church, and will be basically the only form of education in the new World Order, because what else could possibly be of any use? By gaining a thorough understanding of tropes, Dexomega hopes that everyone will see the light and realize that Aldnoah.Zero is an 'abomination'.

3. The final area of focus, Dexomega, is the most crucial section of the church. By emphasizing our leader's amazing features, such as his wide open mouth and golden yellow fur, we hope to instill a sense of pride in the new generation, pride in our ways, our empire, our... Dexomega. I would go into more detail why this is important, but if you aren't convinced yet you are excommunicated anyways, so who cares?




There are two crucial practices that the Church's believers follow. The first is the most obvious: a yearly pilgrimage to the holy land of Akihibara. This is the way that children are made adults in the eyes of the church, the day they make their first great pilgrimage. It is integral in the maturation process, as one cannot really be living in the eyes of Dexomega until they have laid eyes upon this land. The second practice is the Day of Remembrance on December 15th of every year. It is during this time that followers are expected to sit in their houses and cry all day in mourning of the brave Muv-Luv soldiers and their hopeless battle.

Well, that's a quick summary of some new instruments of our glorious leader! For more in-depth information, stick around. Something's bound to pop up.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter