We left our intrepid reporter and his guest last time, following a series of hypothetical events posed to Krakken. But what surprise do the producers have in store for our two heroes?
Protonstorm: We shall see... for I have a special surprise actually!
Krakken_Unleashed: Oh? What Pray tell....
Protonstorm: I’ve brought in another special guest, and you must diagnose her archetype by asking her questions.
Protonstorm: Go ahead and begin, she will respond.
Krakken_Unleashed: Good Evening, my mysterious friend, I’m Krakken_Unleashed, but please call me Krakken. Who do I have the pleasure of speaking to?
???: My name? You’ll find out later.
Krakken_Unleashed: Procedural backstory reveal eh? No matter. lets see, Question 1 what are your favorite free time hobbies?
???: Hobbies? Well, I’m more on the athletic side. I participate in a lot of energetic pursuits, such as track and field. I’m also a really big fan of romantic stories, so those are the kind of books and shows I watch.
Krakken_Unleashed: Well that probably eliminates the Dandere, and likely the Kuudere. If a boy you knew came up to you and said he enjoyed romance shows, how would you respond?
???: I would ask him why he just told me that.
???: Like, does he love me? What am I to him?
Krakken_Unleashed: Not self conscious enough to be a Tsundere and low chance of Deredere. hmm lets say hes a fairly attractive boy to you, though one who has rarely spoken with you, though could conceivably be a romantic interest if encouraged... what then?
???: I invite him over to watch TV.
Krakken_Unleashed: Okay so he’s coming over how do you prepare for your guest?
???: I make the place super romantic and set out all of the necessary appliances in their proper places.
Krakken_Unleashed: What kind of appliances?
???: Oh, just the regular stuff. Pillows, popcorn, water, handcuffs.
Krakken_Unleashed: Very nice... wait handcuffs?!?!
???: They’re a personal favorite of mine, sets up the mood.
Krakken_Unleashed: hmm either a Sadist, possibly a yandere, or a fetishist type... hmm. So you’re going to watch your favorite romance, what is playing?
???: Future Diary.
Krakken_Unleashed: Interesting choice, who is your role model in life?
???: Yuno Gasai.
Krakken_Unleashed: Ahh...er ummm... What do you look up to in her?
???: She knows how to reel in a man.
Protonstorm: Now hold on a minute, you two.
Protonstorm: Krakken, I’m going to cut you off there. I actually have a second guest, and you’re going to play the exact same game with her before you guess what each of them are.
Protonstorm: Ask away.
Krakken_Unleashed: Hello there mystery guest number 2! What do you think of people choosing Waifus/Husbandos?
??? #2: It’s not like I mind all that much, but it’s kind of weird.
Krakken_Unleashed: Would you ever consider having one? And what qualities would you look for in one?
??? #2: probably not, but if I had to I would make sure that she’s in control of herself.
Krakken_Unleashed: What genre of anime or book do you resonate the most with?
??? #2: You’re getting pretty personal, don’t butt into my business too much.
Krakken_Unleashed: hmmm not shy enough for Deredere, or uncaring enough for Dandere, Tsun and Kuu deres are still possible. Do you find violence an acceptable method of dealing with stress?
??? #2: I usually take it out on my guy friends, to be honest. I feel kind of bad about it, but I’m apologizing, it’s their fault too.
Krakken_Unleashed: Do you feel embarrassed often by your guy friends?
??? #2: Only when they behave like idiots or perverts.
Krakken_Unleashed: Tsun, almost 85% certain. What would be your perfect date?
??? #2: Date??? That’s pretty forward of you... keep your distance, please.
Protonstorm: Alright, I’m going to cut that one off too.
Protonstorm: I actually have one final guest for you.
Protonstorm: Feel free to ask her questions as well.
Krakken_Unleashed: Hello! If you had the chance to be a magical girl, would you consider it?
??? #3: Hmm, maybe... That would make me a bit nervous though...
Krakken_Unleashed: Hmmm, Your crush walks in the room and says hi? how do you respond?
??? #3: My face w-would probably turn red, not sure if I would make a break for it or not.
Krakken_Unleashed: Deredere almost certain... if you had an embarrassing accident in the woods and your crush was calling out your name looking for you, would you A) call back to help him find you or B) say nothing in order not to be found compromised in front of him?
??? #3: I... don’t like either of those choices! :(
Protonstorm: Alright, I’ll cut this one off too, that went a lot faster.
Protonstorm: Now Krakken, what are your guesses for the three hidden females?
Krakken_Unleashed: Hmm Yandere, Tsundere and Deredere in that order... Final Answer!
Protonstorm: Congratulations, you are correct! And for your prize, you get to pick one of these lovely ladies to go out on a date with! Which one do you choose?
Krakken_Unleashed: Ill choose #3 as I always liked Onodera in Nisekoi...
Protonstorm: Alright then, let’s roll back the curtain so that you can meet her!
*The curtain rolls up to unveil contestant number three, who is being held with a knife at her neck*
Yanderestorm: Krakken! YOU BASTARD, YOU DIDN’T PICK ME!!!!!!
*Yanderestorm kills the contestant*
Yanderestorm: NO ONE GETS IN THE WAY OF OUR LOVE!!
Krakken_Unleashed: I’m Sorry!
Yanderestorm: You were going to cheat on me...
Krakken_Unleashed: You’ve only ever been the one, and I couldn’t risk a 2nd Yandere in my life!
Yanderestorm: Now I have to make sure you’re mine forever...
*Yanderestorm reaches for a harpoon in the back of the room*
Protonstorm: Okay... who put that there?
Krakken_Unleashed: I promise... please, I love You!
Yanderestorm: Prove it.
*Krakken grabs handcuffs and shackles his arm to Yanderestorm’s, handing her the key*
*Yanderestorm uses the opportunity to plunge the harpoon into Krakken’s chest*
*Krakken caresses Yanderstorm’s cheek as he dies, painfully*
Yanderestorm: Now we’re together, forever.
Protonstorm: Producer, are we insured for this?
*Protonstorm listens to a response through an earpiece*
Protonstorm: I see.
Protonstorm: Alright, I’m going to have to wrap this up and administer shock therapy, thanks for reading everyone!
Protonstorm, in the distance: Hey! You can’t take that body with you!
Editor’s Note: According to Krakken’s Stockholm-induced will, it turned out that his body belonged to Yanderestorm. Fortunately, Protonstorm managed to administer shock therapy by using the film crew as a meat shield. No one was hurt during this interview except for the deredere contestant, who suffered a wound to the neck and died immediately.