WASHINGTON, D.C., UNITED STATES: The Supreme Court of the United States has reached a conclusion on the seminal case Anime v. Common Decency, deciding not to take the case.
The previous month, a district appeals court judge from the tenth circuit ruled in favor of Common Decency. “Anime is trash and everyone knows it,” Judge Timothy M. Tymkovich said. “Anyone with common decency would be disgusted with that weeb shit in that Titan Attack-whatever.”
“Moe is a sin,” retired archbishop Roger Mahony said. “Something that cute is definitely a crime against God.”
“The court only examines cases that they feel need to be clarified,” Chief Justice John Roberts explained. “In this case, it seems very apparent to the court that the decision made by Justice Tymkovich was the right one. Furthermore, this is a sentiment shared by the vast majority of Americans and supported by our Constitution’s support of ‘pursuit of [happiness] a moe-free life’.
However, the vote was not universal. For the Supreme Court to see a case, at least four of the nine (currently eight) justices must agree to see it. Although they did not reach the necessary four, Justice Anthony Kennedy voted in favor of hearing Anime v. Common Decency.
“My son has one of those so-called “waifus”, and he’s a good boy,” explained the justice over the phone. “I do wish he would move out though, he’s almost forty.”
“This ruling is despicable and unenforceable. The love between me and Mei-chan is unbreakable,” area man Aho Johnson said when asked for a comment. “I expect this ruling will be viewed by historians in a very negative light in the future.”
AniTAY reached out to President Trump for comment, but when he saw us approaching he squealed and ran away, likely to hide in the much-rumored “weebquarters” room in the White House.