You might be asking: “How many more of these does this really need to take?”- It will take as many as it needs, because only in anime.
Let’s get back to talking about card game anime (though at this point it’s really just Yu-Gi-Oh!). Hopefully these next bunch of rants will be the end for this arc (series of articles)?
#14 I don’t even... I guess more ridiculous things from card game anime???
Heart of the cards
In the anime, for some reason during Yugi’s most dire moments while dueling, he can always rely on the heart of the cards to guide him to victory. This is essentially saying believing in your deck makes you a better player. Let me expose what this magical force known as heart of the cards really is. As someone who plays a lot of Hearthstone (though this is probably something common in most trading card games), this is what is typically referred to as RNG, a.k.a Random Number God. This is basically all luck, how one randomly draws or does not draw the card they need. Hell in GX, one of Jaden’s listed skills/abilities is luck of the draw. The heart of the cards is complete bullshit, I would know, speaking from experience, as I constantly try to believe in my deck while playing hearthstone, and it almost never works out, at all. So heart of the cards? Only in anime.
Ever been injured from a card game?
For some reason in Yu-Gi-Oh!, there is advanced technology where all the cards are represented by holograms. During duels the holograms do things like attacking other monsters and activating when a card is played. Despite being holograms however, players apparently still feel pain, with some characters in the show screaming when attacked and showing bruising and dust on them as a duel progresses. Why anyone would play with this set up, when a table and play mat would suffice is beyond me.
You see this? :
This is simpler and safer (and probably cheaper) to use than having to deal with this every time:
In addition, these games also cause mental injuries to some. During the first series, Yugi duels Kaiba because Kaiba must win against Yugi in order to win Yugi’s star chips so that Kaiba can gain entrance to duel castle and duel Pegasus. Kaiba does all of this because Pegasus has captured Kaiba’s younger brother, Mokuba, who he has locked in a dungeon. Pegasus has also stolen Mokuba’s soul, like Yugi’s grandpa, and will not give it back till Kaiba defeats Pegasus. Kaiba is so desperate to win, near the end when Yugi is about to win, Kaiba puts himself in a position where if Yugi wins, Kaiba gets knocked of a ledge from a really high point. Essentially, Kaiba is threatening to kill himself if Yugi does not let him win.
This low strategy shockingly works, and Yugi throws the duel on purpose. After the duel Yugi is in a sort of depressed state since he threw his chance to save his grandpa. Though this anime and game is meant for kids, it somehow breaks people both physically and mentally.
Rich assholes with too much money
Speaking of Kaiba, he is Yugi’s life long rival. Not friend, but rival with mutual respect for Yugi’s dueling skills. Though it does not change the fact he is also a complete dick with too much money.
Let’s return to that duel between Yugi and Joey involving the anchor. Towards the end of the duel, Kaiba now decides to intervene by having his self-flying/ remote controlled helicopter come in and do something in order to save Tea. Though he only has one helicopter come in, which caused me to think “Tea is saved, but what about Yugi and Joey. They are still in trouble you jerk.” Now in his defense, Kaiba actually does say a second helicopter would take too long to come help, but if you have that much money in the first place, I say bull shit. You could have probably done something else. In addition, why don’t you hire private military/security to help? Surely he could hire some guns. Kaiba clearly has body guards with him in some episodes, what happened to those people?
Another sign of Kaiba’s wealth is something he does during the sequel series to Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh GX. In that series, Jaden (the MC for that series) receives new cards from space. Sounds strange, well it is. What happens is that Jaden wins a contest, sponsored by Kaiba, to design new duel monster cards and those designs will be made into actual cards to be launched into space. Yes, for some reason Kaiba is actually going to pay for a rocket to launch some trading cards into space. To be fair, if I recall correctly, it has something to do with s science experiment involving the cards being affected by the sun’s rays (according to the wiki at least, for the dub Kaiba basically said he wanted to teach aliens how to duel), or something like that, and surprisingly the experiment is a success. On the other hand if it din’t succeed, I would ask, “what exactly was scientific about launching some cards into space?”
Kaiba’s also an egotist, proven in GX when it is revealed he had a card made and named after his likeness, appropriately called Kaibaman:
That actually begs more questions, because then what was the point of launching Jaden’s cards into space? Why not just make the cards official, since you already bought your own card? Why did the Neo-Spacians actually have to be in space before they became official cards? Kaiba just wanted to show off his wealth that’s why.
That’s it for today. Just hold tight, I’m pretty sure were about to reach the climax.
Next time on Only in anime:
- Making a card game impossible to play in real life.
- Your social status in society determined by your dueling skill.
- Schools for a card game?
To Be Continued...
Speaking of the heart of cards, let’s talk about this man.
This guy’s name is Damon. He is a character that could really use the heart of the cards. Apparently he is a student that was skilled academically, but his overall dueling skill was not as good due to his terrible luck of the draw. Damon had such terrible luck, he decided to go into the forests of Duel academy and have nature train him to be better at drawing. In his words (in the dub) “become one with the draw.” Somehow, besides turning him into Tarzan, he actually does become better at something that literally shouldn’t even be skill based at all. Seriously drawing is all luck. What’s great though is some of the ways he accomplishes this. One way is having his cards fall from a waterfall in order to grab the good card. Really this should just destroy his cards. I’ve seen what happens when you accidentally have your cards end up in a washer when you forget to take them out of your pocket.
Damon is so obsessed with drawing, his deck focuses on just that, drawing. It has cards that don’t even exist because the cards are so focused on drawing, which again I reiterate is not a legitimate skill that you can measure or improve. Again, all luck. Damon is so “skilled” at drawing however, he knows what his opponent draws. In a duel with Jaden, Damon plays a card where must guess the next card his opponent draws, and without ever even meeting Jaden, let alone knowing anything about Jaden’s deck, Damon correctly guesses the card.
What’s great is how the duel ends. Basically, Damon ends up drawing the wrong card, then Jaden proceeds to give him a speech on just enjoying dueling and not obsessing over drawing because you won’t always draw what you need. Immediate after that speech, Jaden then draws exactly the card he needs to win, and beats Damon.
I call bullshit Jaden, as a Yu-Gi-Oh protagonist, you and every other main character in the franchise at least 90% of the time draw exactly what you need to win. That’s probably how almost every duel ends in every episode of the franchise.
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