It is with a heavy heart that I must inform our readership of the death of our friend and fellow AniTAYer Maelwys, who passed away this afternoon due to severe internal bleeding. Maelwys and several other AniTAYers had been sent to the hospital after a mishap in the AniTAY HQ kitchen. Maelwys died of his injuries moments after arriving at the ICU.

The suspected culinary terrorist, building employee Raitzeno, is in police custody facing charges of involuntary manslaughter and eight counts of accidental injury. While I myself dodged a bullet by going out to lunch, I sit here in a hazmat suit as I type this praying for the godawful stench to vacate the premises.

By some miracle, fellow AniTAYer Gugsy also escaped harm despite having actually consumed some of the vile cuisine. This led investigators to discover the antidote - all that is needed to neutralize the stomach-melting properties of the terrifying concoction is an entire bucket of Sodium Chloride. With this knowledge in hand, the other victims are expected to make a full recovery.