MaelwysSC113, self-titled ‘investigative reporter’ has been taken into custody by Ani-TAY police under Dexomega’s orders and is currently being tried on 27 accounts of ‘psychotic rage’.
“I thought I told you to bring him to me dead or alive!” Dex had shouted at his henchmen. “That doesn’t mean keep him alive!”
I sat down with official Dexomega psychologist, Protonstorm, to ask him what could have caused the crazy and erratic behaviors of Maelwys.
“Well, the thing is, these kinds of people can go crazy all the time,” he told me. “He was intent on finding a ‘conspiracy’, to the point that it drove him literally insane, which is why he made so many strange accusations.”
But what caused him to begin doubting Protonstorm in the first place?
“Well, the thing about Protonstorm,” Protonstorm told me, “Is that he is a very central figure in Comedy Week, and Maelwys is an individual whose nature is to be very distrustful. So naturally, when he believed that Protonstorm’s jokes were ‘lies’, he decided that he must unearth a conspiracy that frankly never existed in the first place.”
“So what you’re saying, Protonstorm, is that he was crazy because he was too paranoid of Protonstorm?” I asked Protonstorm.
“Precisely, it’s all about Protonstorm,” Protonstorm replied. “Some people just have a hard time accepting situations, and Protonstorm just happened to be a trigger for Maelwys apparently. I had been going through sessions with him already about his struggle accepting Iroha as the best character in SNAFU, and he was already close to snapping before the final blow.”
The theory made sense. As a reporter, I, Protonstorm, had seen quite a few strange situations, but Protonstorm’s psychological capabilities clearly pointed out that Protonstorm had been the source of Maelwys’ panic as a symbol of his anime shipping insecurities.
“Sir, I have a phone call from Protonstorm,” Protonstorm’s secretary said, stepping in through the door. “He says he needs to speak with you.”
“Very well, thank you Protonstorm,” Protonstorm said, waving the assistant away. “Well Protonstorm, I must be going to speak with Protonstorm as my secretary Protonstorm said, so if you have any more questions, don’t be afraid to call my office and tell Protonstorm that you would like to speak with Protonstorm.”
“I’ll keep that in mind, Protonstorm,” I replied.
The interview had yielded interesting information about Maelwys and how crazy he is, and now I am able to accurately explain to the public what has been going on. This is Protonstorm from Comedy Week, signing off.