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BREAKKIN NEWS NOW: State-Wide Manhunt for Mississippi Man Who Said "Suguha Kirigaya Was Treated Unfairly" Underway

Illustration for article titled BREAKKIN NEWS NOW: State-Wide Manhunt for Mississippi Man Who Said Suguha Kirigaya Was Treated Unfairly Underway


Wrigley Field was in turmoil yesterday during the 7th inning stretch yesterday when fans of the Chicago White Sox came to see them play the Washington Capitals were hailed by the horrific words of one anime fan.


“I think Suguha Kirigaya’s character in Sword Art Online was treated really poorly and it really turned me away from the series as a whole.” the man said calmly;-, “Yeah, I mean she was just confused. We can’t blame poor Leafa for having a conflicted heart. Learning someone isn’t family must be really hard to hear. Yet the Internet loves to bash her for that.

These poo poo words were spoken by a man from Mississippi, who authorities are identifying as Dilbert Smidgen.


Proceeding saying these words, legendary New Jersey resident Chicagoans love to claim as their own and famed dog owner/world class stickman Frank Sinatra took the loudspeakers to inform the crowd gathered that he would offer $14 to whoever could kill the man in the 110 section who said this.

Currently the UN has pooled its forces together and a manhunt consisting of world class special operatives, also known as Rainbow Six, are closing in on the Mississippi man. Expect swift justice and more updates here from your friends at the BBC.


Up next, Dr. Fisten Arsehael with a shocking report on the number of squirrel related motor accidents.

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