VIENNA - Today, the grand council of The International Anime Experts convened in Vienna, Austria, and issued a grand proclamation.

“It has come to our attention,” John McCaffey, chairman of the committee, said, “That people have begun to fall under the impression that they somehow know that their favorite anime is good.”

“You couldn’t possibly know that,” he continued. “So, as a joint committee, we officially declare that everyone’s favorite anime is shit.”

“I mean, it just makes sense,” one assemblyman told me. “Anime hasn’t been near as good since the 90's, all this moe garbage is a pure crime, plain and simple. I’m glad the chairman finally got the balls to man up and push this legislation through, it was bipartisan anyways.”

“I’m tired of people saying that shitty old anime is good,” another said. “Anything before 2000 is ancient history and it’s time to move on. Plus, with new technology, new anime is obviously objectively superior anyways.”


Before I could reply, the two assemblymen broke out into a cat fight with each other like little girls. The verdict is still out on which anime is the best, as the committee is expected to be deadlocked for quite some time on the issue. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯