The conspiracy now includes terrorists, brainwashing, and the Illuminati.
As always, you can find my front-lines reporting in the comments of each article. Today, I highly recommend that you read them for the full details on each incident.
To kick off the festivities, Ishmael announced the newest development in the Stormburns line of Psychological Manipulation Sciences (PMS). This event was elevated from a Category 2 to a Level 3 due to the denial-confirmation of the propagandist. We’re not sure why it went from being a “category” to a “level,” but rest assured that the
monkeys in my attic engineers pioneering the field of conspiracy detection equipment are hard at work to figure out how their own invention functions.
Next, Uchikoshi revealed his latest game. Rock was so excited that he cried in a corner (if you listen close enough, you may be able to still hear him in the distance). It turns out there’s a lot more going on in this conspiracy than expected.
Devin Real (definitely not a fake name) reported on the vast possibilities for anime girls and their independence from the “oppressive patriarchal structure of society’s pre-conceived expectations of women.” He also revealed information that led to the discovery of the Stormburns Terroristic Fighting Unit (STFU) and their arsenal of weaponry.
The Illuminati has officially appeared on the scene of this conspiracy, as can be deermined through Fruity’s “OP/ED a Day,” which is probably Illuminati code for “Initiate takeover” or something. Because what conspiracy doesn’t involve the Illuminati?
Proton begins the process of brainwashing his friends, a truly heinous act, but he introduced them to a form of otaku culture, so I guess that evens out. You have to take some of the bad with the good. But this is still a conspiracy, it’s not like I approve of it or anything. B-b-baka.
In an interview with Proton, Fruity speaks more Illuminati code and reveals himself to be a sleeper agent in AKB48. The propaganda and subliminal messaging of this conspiracy know no bounds.
Finally, the day ended with a massive attack on my swagger, street cred, and reputation as a reporter. I hold firm and continue to report the facts, though I may not be favored by the masses. The truth shall live, at least as long as I am capable of reporting this chain of events.
The truth has come under attack today, and what shall we do, dear readers? Press on. Persevere. Prepare for the future. PROPAGATE THE FACTS. Use lots of words that start with the letter P. I will not be shut down, nor intimidated by this conspiracy. They may take whatever I have left, beat me to the ground and take my breath; they will not take the truth from the people as long as I live.
Beware, be square, be fair - The AniTAY Report.