Protonstorm: Hello and welcome to the Ani-TAY Interview! I am your host, Protonstorm, and today I have a magnificent guest joining me here, mdubs!
mdubs: Hello! Happy to be taking some time out of my Goose house listening to be here today.
Protonstorm: Ah yes, Goose house. You know, I recently heard that you had started a club here on Ani-TAY concerning one of its members. Care to go into detail?
mdubs: I'd love to. I've had a crush on the immensely talent Goose house member Kei Takebuchi for a few months now, and when I found out last week that there were some similarly enlightened individuals on Ani-TAY, I knew what had to be done. Thus, Ani-Kei was born to help spread the goodness of Kei and Goose house to the good people of Ani-TAY.
Protonstorm: Some have referred to your group as a cult. In fact, as one person said, "This is the most disturbing thing I've seen in a while". How does that make you feel?
Protonstorm: Not that I punched him in the face or anything. As a reporter, I must maintain complete journalistic integrity.
mdubs: Of course, rightly so. I'm confident that as future meetings of Ani-Kei happen and the group grows these types of misguided comments will cease. Maybe they will even receive a moment of revelation of their own, one can only hope.
mdubs: I hope for their sake anyways they will see the light.
Protonstorm: I even hear you started up a group on MAL.
mdubs: Actually my brother-in-arms Declan started the club, so I can only claim to be a spiritual mentor in that endeavor.
Protonstorm: Tensions between you guys and other waifu cults seem to be escalating recently. Just today, I discovered this totally authentic gang sign:
mdubs: Well, I certainly hope that those Idolm@aster and Chaika fans learn to write properly in the future at any rate.
mdubs: I'd say their choice of women is probably at the same level as their penmanship.
Protonstorm: Now, it's not like I'd reveal the name of the person who submitted this piece of art, but just to give you a hint, he's frequently referred to as the hottest guy on Ani-TAY.
mdubs: Well I'd certainly never create such vulgar scrawls if I'm not mistaken.
Protonstorm: Then you must not be the hottest guy on Ani-TAY. I assure you, however, that whoever did this will be swiftly brought to justice.
mdubs: I make up for it with my endearing personality. However, I believe in the power of free speech and thus forgive the person for their terrible taste in women.
Protonstorm: And I'm sure they thank you for that. Now, what I'm curious about is the strength of your cult's bond with Kei.
mdubs: Did you just call us a cult?!
mdubs: I'm starting to suspect something suspicious is going on here...
Protonstorm: You must have misheard me. I said no such thing.
Protonstorm: I assure you, once again, that I maintain my journalistic integrity. Because it's all about integrity in journalism, folks.
mdubs: It's all about the talent. Good talent brings good fans, and the same thing is in effect here, no complicated-ness behind it.
Protonstorm: So your love for her is unwavering?
mdubs: Can neither confirm or deny, do not want my real waifu to go yandere on me. That would be bad. Unless Kei is reading this interview, then just ignore that last part and the answer is yes!
Protonstorm: To test this theory, I have prepared a selection of media. I want you to rate the awesomeness of the following on a scale of 1 to Onodera:
mdubs: Maybe like a 2.5.
Protonstorm: The fuck did you just score Ayase?
Protonstorm: *ahem* I mean, nothing.
Protonstorm: You heard nothing.
mdubs: Well that is certainly a Kaori on my rating scale. Unlike the US I don't use Imperial Onoderas and I highly recommend they make the switch quickly to catch up to the rest of the world
Protonstorm: Very well. To be fair, I shall switch to a Canadian scale. How does she rate now?
mdubs: Still a Kaori. I can't be confined to any linear sort of scale, I need to spread my wings and fly like the seagulls in Shigatsu's OP.
Protonstorm: This is highly unorthodox. In order to maintain journalistic integrity, I need to make sure that the readers are given a score that they can understand properly.
mdubs: This converts to roughly 4 Asuna's and an Aki for reference.
mdubs: I give this picture probably 1.5 Mikasa's.
Protonstorm: Next, then:
mdubs: Well as a gif itself that gets a Shu Oma, but as a reaction gif it moves squarely into Okabe territory.
Protonstorm: And last but not least, I have the toughest one.
Protonstorm: Go on, try to say that this one is worse than Kei. I dare you.
mdubs: Well I mean it was a good attempt on the writers to convey the power of Kei's singing voice through the metaphor of Tatsuya's overpoweredness, but I'm not sure it hits the mark.
mdubs: Maybe next time, one can only hope.
Protonstorm: Well, there you have it, folks. The might of Ani-Kei is quite strong, although it is unfortunate that The One True Tatsuya will have to smite their leader now.
Protonstorm: Any final words?
Protonstorm: To the audience, of course.
mdubs: Pray for me everyone, I think my girlfriend has seen this please send help.
Protonstorm: Well thank you for your time, mdubs and- oh my.
*** Protonstorm cringes. ***
Protonstorm: That slap looked like it hurt.
Protonstorm: Well, that's all for now! Tune in next time...
You're reading Ani-TAY, the anime-focused portion of Kotaku's community-run blog, Talk Amongst Yourselves. Ani-TAY is a non-professional blog whose writers love everything anime related. Click here to check us out.
A special thanks to mdubs for 'participating' in the interview, and to Exile for looking things over.
If you liked this article, you might also like: