I’m sure everyone is familiar with articles that showcase the new anime in upcoming seasons. They show pictures, titles, and small descriptions of the shows. These posts are generally used as a tool to choose what shows you want to try out. The following article is of the same idea, but with a twist. Instead of using the actual descriptions of the shows airing in the Summer 2015 season, we will make up our own based solely on each show’s real picture and title. Some entries may be funny, some may be serious, some entries may even end up being identical to the actual show’s, all I know is that it should turn out to be fun.


Akagami no Shirayuki-hime
(Snow White with the Red Hair)

Few saw the cataclysm’s inevitability, fewer still could act. Across the surface of the world, people huddled together and wept as the end swept over them. In just a few days, humanity was all but expunged. Of the few who foresaw and prepared, one group above all had resources and vision: the Disney Imagineers. Converting their famed theme parks into sanctuary arcologies, these paragons allowed the species to survive. Centuries passed as the ecosystem slowly recovered outside the walls of the Magic Kingdoms , whilst inside the people endured and prospered. Society adapted to its surroundings, forgetting the wider expanses of the world now lost. One by one, Magic Kingdoms stopped responding through the Mirrors On The Wall. Now the first and largest may be all that’s left, no other contact having been had in a generation. But for the young and optimistic Snow White of this realm, such distant matters are not a concern. She has never seen the Mirrors shine, nor heard the words of a person she could not meet. But she knows the songs of the trees and the laughter of flowers, given voice by the people of her world, and she dedicates herself to making the green land the fairest it can be. Her world is a small world, after all.


Aoharu x Kikanjuu

Every once in a while a student council comes along that serves as more than just the student council. Aoharu is a story about students who all have some form of time manipulation power and use them to lead their school. This sounds miraculous except for the fact that every time they call on their power, a random body part of theirs becomes unusable for an entire 24 hours afterwards.


Aquarion Logos

In the science fiction future, everything is controlled by Logos, the ability to persuade your enemies through the use of logical arguments in essays. One day, a boy named Shintaro wakes up and realizes that he has horrid mutton chops, but has no way to get rid of them! His local barber agrees to cut them off, but on one condition: he must win Aquarion, the greatest Logos tournament on the eastern side of the world! However, such a tournament will not be easy as Shintaro will have to face more than his fair share of tsundere competitors who have a unique advantage in Logos due to their innate ability to express themselves. Can Shintaro overcome these impossible odds and walk away clean-shaven with a girlfriend?


Chaos Dragon: Sekiryuu Sen’eki
(Red Dragon War)

You’ve had card games in nightmare realms. You’ve had card games on motorcycles. But can you handle CARD GAMES ON DRAGONS?! Middle school dropout Yukio has been bullied his whole life for looking like a little girl. But when he discovers CARD GAMES ON DRAGONS, his world changes. Join Yukio in his gaming adventure. Every card counts in CARD GAMES ON DRAGONS, because to play a card, you have to feed it to your dragon mount, who breathes its magical particulates at your opponent. Along with fire. Lots and lots of fire. Mmmm, fire. CARD GAMES ON DRAGONS.


Charlotte

Regular girl Akiko’s hopes of a high school romance with her crush, Ken, are dashed upon the arrival of a mysterious and beautiful Austrian exchange student named Charlotte. Soon, all eyes are on the new girl, including Ken’s. All Akiko hears about all day is Charlotte, Charlotte, Charlotte. Akiko hates her on principle, but it seems like the only one Charlotte is interested in is...Akiko? The stoic European girl seems to know Akiko’s class schedule, favorite items from the school concession, and even bra size. Find out whether Charlotte can win Akiko’s heart in an unlikely yuri tale, or if this becomes a Hitchcockian high school horror story of stalking and paranoia.


Classroom☆Crisis

Most people are probably familiar with flags. There are death flags, love flags, flags of all sorts, but the important thing to note is that a flag foreshadows events of the future. For example, if someone is about to go into a battle and they say, “there’s now way I’ll die,” a death flag appears to dictate that character’s certain death. Classroom Crisis is a show that focuses on a particular classroom where a flag, instead of affecting the person who it appeared for, effects someone else in the class at random. That means if one character raises a death flag, someone else in the classroom will die, and such is the case with all flags.


Dragon Ball Chou
(Dragon Ball Super)

Hentai.


Durarara!!x2 Ten

Durarara!!x2 Ten or (Durararax2)(10) = Durarara20 assuming here that the value of a Durarara is 1, is a continuation of the story of two twins, separated at birth, but fated to battle for the right to be aided by the power of a mysterious biker spirit.


Fate/kaleid liner Prisma☆Illya 2wei Herz!

The German knockoff of TLC’s hit show Toddlers in Tiaras begins its 2nd season filled with ever more annoying children, creepy obsessive parents, and way too much lolicon fanservice.


Gakkou Gurashi!
(School-Live!)

In an apocalyptic Japan, one of the casualties of chaos and devastation is a small rural town. The residents, including the now displaced high schoolers, don’t care about war and famine- they just want to live! This heartwarming slice of life follows the day to day joys and struggles of a gang of girls who form an idol group in an effort to raise morale and rebuild their hometown through the power of friendship and song.


Gangsta.

Three men belong to the local Reservoir Dogs Re-enactment Society, desperately seeking any sort of thrill as an escape from the monotonous ennui of their daily lives. Leaving to return home one night, tired and unfulfilled, they get into their car just like they have so many nights before and drive the same route to their homes automatically...not realising that they have taken the wrong car. The vehicle they have accidentally stolen turns out to be full of blood and flesh, body parts and knives. And a business card, for the team of professionals that mock up murder scenes for the film industry. So begins a gory prank war that neither party is prepared to back down from. Will the trio of disaffected males find a new calling? Or will they be doomed to forever be stuck in the middle of life?


Gatchaman Crowds insight

The Gatchaman Parade. Every year, the streets of Tokyo are filled with marchers of all shapes and sizes during this great festival. Mika and Kima both want to be a part of this parade, not just as performers, but as the center of attention! Thus, they set out to recruit the greatest dancers in the nation that have particular insight into the industry in preparation to storm the parade and claim the greatest portion of the Gatchaman Crowds.


Gate: Jieitai Kanochi nite, Kaku Tatakaeri

When the United Nations outlaws all forms of roleplaying, including LARPing, videogames and oldschool pen and paper RPG’s, a young army recruit who was a proud roleplayer and master DM must take on the injustice and prejudice of this outrageous law, and begins a full on rebellion against the evil worldwide government. As his cry for freedom is taken up by all nerds, geeks and otakus, worldwide, this one time college DM must now become the master of a real campaign as modern warfare takes a turn towards the fantastic, medieval, and delusional.


God Eater

Everyone likes a good meal, but what happens when you’re still not satisfied after you’ve eaten everything that the world has to offer? This is exactly what happens to Bobu-kun, a seemingly regular high school student. Taking matters into his own hands, Bobu decides to build a futuristic war regime, enlisting his fellow classmates. The goal of Bobu and his party is the following: find, capture, cook, and eat a god, all in that order.


Himouto! Umaru-chan
(My Two-Faced Little Sister)

Most people have a sibling, and everyone that has a younger one knows just how annoying they can be sometimes. They bug you, they use your stuff without asking, and they get better attention from your parents, but at least they’re a cute, squishy chibi character. This story follows the daily lives of Yamako and her younger sister Himouto who suffers from horrible face and body deformations that make her look like she’s right out of a super kawaii anime.


Jitsu wa Watashi wa
(I am…)

Poor Wana-kun has always been made fun of for his girly physique. Bullying was a fact of life, and he’d even gotten used to occasionally being forced to wear women’s clothing. But on his first day of high school, he finds himself in a 3-year-long crossdressing competition - with his actual manhood on the line! Can he harness his wussiness and overly feminine voice in order to defeat these “women” with incredible charm and false everything, or will he face the ultimate punishment - a public castration?!


Joukamachi no Dandelion
(Castle Town Dandelion)

Joukamachi no Dandelion (AKA, Neon Genesis Edandelion) is a show centered on three unique girls. It’s not their appearance, status, or persona that’s special about them. It’s the fact that they are so simple and average that makes them one (well three) of a kind. One day Mimi and Momo, the eldest of the three, decide that they don’t want to be average any longer. This leads to our story filled with giant robots, intense psychology, and a one battle left unfinished.


Junjou Romantica 3

Kumatome is a stuffed bear that can somehow think. In his spare time he likes to watch anime, read manga, or lift mad weights to get swole as hell. He’d like to do more stuff, but he doesn’t want to reveal his secret to his owner, Rero, because Rero is a dirty sellout and would only try to make money from him so he can buy more booze. One day, Rero finds a magical kitchen spoon that has the ability to turn things into humans, and by mere coincidence, he uses it on Kumatome.


Kangoku Gakuen Prison School

When otaku rule the world, “All riajuu go explode!” becomes the law. Pretty-boy Ichinose-kun is blindsided by his childhood friend’s surprise confession, and accidentally accepts... which gets him jailed for 15 years! Can he protect his chastity long enough to fulfill his sentence and return to his lost love? Can he even get out in time without committing new ‘crimes’? Stay tuned, and don’t drop that soap!


Kuusen Madoushi Kouhosei no Kyoukan
(The Instructor of Aerial Combat Wizard Candidates)

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What’s better in life than learning how to fly? Bob Ross? Yeah, maybe, but that’s besides the point. What we really care about here is the addition of magic. Flying and magic. This story takes place in a combat high school that teaches the students how to combine the two. Watch and enjoy as these students use magical powders to get as high as possible.


Makura no Danshi

You may have heard of “Cuddle cafes,” establishments where lonely patrons can sleep next to a stranger, but so far these cafes have only employed cute girls. When narcoleptic high school heartthrob Shuichi becomes strapped for cash, he sets out on a journey to become the world’s first male cuddle cafe employee. Can he compete with his female co-workers for clients, get some z’s, and earn a little pocket money? Watch as Shuichi learns a few things about work...and about his patrons who just need a good little spoon.


Monster Musume no Iru Nichijou (Everyday Life with Monster Girls)

“This isn’t even my final form!” is the favorite phrase of Tetsuo, a boy who is not only chuunibyou but also has a strange tendency towards women of large breast sizes. His everyday life usually consists of ridiculous behavior on his part, and an effort to change himself to become noticed by a girl that is more than 2D and 2-D. One day, he makes this wish on a magical wishing well, and his dreams are granted, but not in the way he expects. Tetsuo instead gains the ability to transform into a variety of ‘monster girls’, all of whom conveniently highlight certain classic traits often found in the anime Tetsuo so loves. Needless to say, he immediately sets out to romance each aspect of himself, and learns a little bit along the way about human relationships and the meaning of true love.


Non Non Biyori Repeat

Nonaka and her sister Kanon have finally formed a successful band with their best friends Hibiyo and Yorina. However, on the way to their biggest concert yet, they find themselves flung into the past - only to meet their own parents! When the folks fall off a cliff chasing after a runaway drum set, the four of them realize they have to take their own parents’ place to ensure they’ll be born at all. And that’s only the first time loop… Can the girls’ music solve all of their problems? Heck, can it solve anything at all? Find out in Non Non BiYori: Repeat!


Overlord

What does it take to rule an Empire? well Lord Skullduggery knows all too well, as he has been the lord and master of the Empire of Vast Inhospitable Land (EVIL) for over 400 years. In this Comedy Slice of Life, the cheerful and humble Lord Skullduggery helps his subjects with their menial disputes and everything from finding stray cats, to helping the injured mailman, to making sure the thieves’ guild members all have their proper licenses. The day in the life of an Emperor is never dull!


Ranpo Kitan: Game of Laplace

A certain biological mastermind has created an airborne virus that has already quickly spread to every single person on the planet. The virus has but one symptom: the infected lose the ability to sense, in all ways, intellectual organisms of any form. This being the case, every human on Earth succumbs to the belief that they are the last human on Earth, simultaneously.


Rokka no Yuusha
(Rokka-Braves of Six Flowers)

Tetsuya is a man with a plan, and plans to be the greatest park ranger to guard the national forests that Japan has seen since Eren Jaegar. However, one day he meets a furry-eared beauty named Suzuka, and his plans become unraveled as he falls for her. Unfortunately, he cannot be seen with a girl that has furry bunny ears, and is unable to ask her out until he removes the curse placed upon her, a curse that can only be broken by collecting the six great flowers from the sentient penguins that inhabit the park.


Senki Zesshou Symphogear GX

“I don’t like Symphogears or fighting.” Our reluctant heroine, Elly Uzuki, has been recruited into the Global Symphogear Tournament with her friends’ lives on the line. But this season, when those ‘hostages’ show up on opposing teams, can Elly bring home the trophy, and save her opponents? Or will they be trampled underfoot like a human taking on a Symphogear alone?


Shimoneta to Iu Gainen ga Sonzai Shinai Taikutsu na Sekai
(A Boring World Where the Concept of Dirty Jokes Doesn’t Exist)

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As Voltaire once said, “If the concept of dirty jokes did not exist, it would be necessary to create it.” This anime is a creative retelling of the Prometheus myth. Kiyo, the minor goddess of perversion, has few friends in the kami realm. That doesn’t stop her for striving to bring the joy of the dirty joke to the humor-deprived human race. When Amaterasu sabotages Kiyo’s efforts and locks her up, she must decide if she can make a difficult sacrifice for the sake of humanity.


Sore ga Seiyuu!

The genderbent anime adaptation of 2010’s Award winning film The Kings Speech casts King George VI as a grade 8 japanese student who must get over her speech impediment in order to stop the devilish plans of the ruthless Hitler-sempai who is planning to take over the school.


Suzakinishi: The Animation

The latest in a new string of artistic experiments, Suzakinishi is an anime which explores deep themes of loneliness, betrayal, friendship, culture shock, and racial tensions all through animated letters and kanji. No characters, and not even backgrounds, this show shall redefine what it means to be a visual medium, and show how “the concept” is often more important than the real thing.


THE iDOLM@STER: Cinderella Girls 2nd Season

*Late-night time slot. Viewer discretion advised.*

In a modern fairytale world gone haywire, the master idols Cindy and Ella won the heart of their prince with a big musical number and a swingin’ threesome. But this season, when their wicked stepmother finds the Fountain of Loli, the idols find themselves with a new rival! Can they keep their Prince’s interest when their schoolgirl mom is pole dancing on stage?!


To LOVE-Ru Darkness 2nd

When honor is lost, the only recourse is hara-kiri. But when demons invade the hearts of men, not only does temptation become irresistible, but even the peace of death is denied. What can be done when the death penalty is no longer permanent? Ruby, the leader of the Seconds, is here to help. With the turncoat demon Darkness possessing her shadow, her claws are ready to reap the souls of both sinner and demon in one strike. Join Ruby in this brightly morbid world of suicidal love!


Ushio to Tora

An Anime Mockumentary on the art of war, the show follows the history of warfare from caveman times to the modern era. Narrated by the twins Ushimatsu and Torazou, the embodiments of war in the form of the weapons of the ages, who explore the meaning of war, battle and death trapped within the bullets, blades and ballistae of history’s greatest wars, as the rest of humanity drives itself to bloody extinction.


Venus Project -Climax-

The Female Orgasm is a myth that has endured for centuries; always just enough anecdotal evidence to keep the stories alive but always failing to appear in the rigorous testing of a laboratory environment. With such a weight of evidence against its existence, publically declaring an intent to research it is a surefire way for a scientist to lose all professional respect leaving the field populated solely by the young and (repeatedly) enthusiastic with nothing to lose, but little skill. Unwilling to once-and-for-all abandon the youthful drive he reluctantly gave up many years before, a famed scientist has put everything he has on the table and assembled a highly trained team of research assistants, each skilled in multiple specialist areas and willing to do anything to reach that peak of knowledge. Together, they intend to research deeper and more intensely than anyone has before. After all, if it isn’t hard there’s something wrong. This is the Venus Project. Science is Coming!


Working!!!

Not all jobs are created equal. Rio Yukimura, an elementary school girl with delusions of grandeur, finds this out the hard way after she applies at the Dahmer Cafe, the only workplace in town without a minimum employee age. Her coworkers seem really fun, and every day feels like payday… until she discovers the restaurant’s terrible secret. It’s a cannibal cafe, and only the Employee of the Month is safe. Can Rio survive the appetites of her customers and coworkers, who want to eat her up in more ways than one? Or will she be devoured before her contract is up? Find out on Working!!!


SHORTS


Bikini Warriors

In the resort town of Speedopolis, evil is afoot… and aflipper! The city has been taken over by the evil Budgie Smugglers, a group of German penguin pirates hell-bent for leather, wielding leather, and only wearing a small bit of leather. The only chance this beach has of avoiding the worst sausage party ever is the Bikini Warriors, a group of 8-year-old girls who have found their moms’ old magical transforming swimsuits! But danger lurks beneath the waves, and the Budgie Smugglers have called for allies in several tentacular varieties! Will the Warriors win, or be washed away in a waving web of wang-looking wonders?!


Danchigai

In a world where people live and die, a story of proportionate proportions, marvelous marvels, and questionable questions will be told. Only one person stands in the way of another. One will win and the other will lose. Only a single human can be one person. People wake up when they’re done sleeping. Everyone breaths until their last breath. Will seven days be enough to complete the week? Find out when this show is shown.


Million Doll

A thousand paper cranes can heal the sick, but a million dolls can raise the dead. The problem, as bereaved elder brother Kawada Riku finds out, is that there’s more than enough souls that answer to “imouto-san”. With a million porcelain dolls now housing the spirits of little girls, Riku now has 999,999 problems, but a little sister ain’t one.


Miss Monochrome - The Animation 2

This is the second season of the story of Miss Monochrome, a secretary for a futuristic military complex. In the year 3011, human cloning is a run of the mill procedure. This is convenient for everyone but Mari M. Monochrome, the clumsy and colorblind reception desk girl at the Northern Occidental-Transcontinental Association of Libertarian Leadership. In a world where the only way people can be told apart is by the color of their clothes, Mari runs into quite a few roadbumps in her job, day to day activities, and don’t even get me started on speed dating! Luckily, Mari has an optimistic outlook and can always see the good in things, even if she’s only seeing shades of grey.


Okusama ga Seitokaicho!
(My Waifu is the Student Council President!)

Tired of being mocked for his tastes, wealthy otaku high school student Yamada Ichirou uses the world’s greatest superpower, money, to get his waifu elected as student council president. There’s only one problem: she’s a cardboard cutout of an anime girl with a wedding veil taped to the back of the board. Join Ichirou in his wacky high school life as he spends money like water in a shallow and pathetic attempt to justify his hobbies and fetishes.


Teekyuu 5

Season 5 of a totally normal show about a girls’ tennis club, with guest writer Gen Urobuchi.


Wakaba*Girl

Wakaba Girl is an avant garde short series that tells the story of four unnamed protagonists, only known as The Girls. The Girls are average Japanese students, who stop for dinner at a neighborhood restaurant every evening on their way home from work. Their lives are told only through snapshots of their time at The Restaurant. The Restaurant has no servers, no chef. There are only The Girls, in this space, in this moment. Is it a real, physical space, or is it a metaphor, or both? We understand their lives, and the human condition itself, not through words, but through the everyday ritual of eating: the great equalizing thing that all living beings must do between life and death.


Wakako-zake

Charlie Sheen directs and produces his first anime, with the tagline “Winning.”

Protip: Everything on that table contains cocaine.


Wooser no Sono Higurashi: Mugen-hen
(Wooser’s Hand-to-Mouth Life Third Season)

Season three of the experimental anime based on the Voight-Kampff Empathy Test. Each week, three of Japan’s best animators each bring to life one of the three options from one of the multiple-choice questions from the famous android-catching examination.


In case you missed the memo, every single one of these synopses were made up. I’m sure there are a few of you that went through the whole article without knowing this fact; I can only imagine how terribly you’re questioning reality right now. I feel even worse for the people that don’t read this part either. Anyways, I hope you had a laugh in there somewhere. This article was really fun to make and all the authors that contributed would probably agree. It was so fun that this might even become a recurring thing. What did you guys think of all of the synopses? Are there any that you guys would actually watch? Are there any that you think would make your eyes bleed? Tell us what you think.

Authors, alphabetically:

Exile: Akagami no Shirayuki-hime, Gangsta, Venus Project - Climax, Wakako-zake, Wooser no Sono Higurashi: Mugen-hen

Krakken_Unleashed: Prisma Ilya 2wei Herz, Gate: Jieitai Kanochi nite, Kaku Tatakaeri, Overlord, Sore ga Seiyuu, Suzakinishi, Ushio to Tora

Morie: Charlotte, Duraoraoraoraora x2 Ten, Gakkou Gurashi, Makura no Danshi, Shimoneta/Dirty Jokes, Miss Monochrome 2, Wakaba Girl

Protonstorm: Aquarion Logos, Dragon Ball Chou, Gatchaman Crowds Insight, Monster Musume no Iru Nichijou, Rokka no Yuusha

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Raitzeno: Chaos Dragon, Jitsu Wa, Watashi Wa, Kangoku Gakuen, Non Non Biyori Repeat, Senki Zesshou Symphogear GX, The Idolm@aster Cinderella Girls 2, To-LOVE-Ru Darkness 2nd, Working!!!, Bikini Warriors, Million Doll, Teekyuu 5

Stanlick: Aoharu x Kikanjuu, Classroom Crisis, God Eater, Himouto! Umaru-chan, Joukamachi no Dandelion, Junjou Romantica 3, Kuusen Madoushi, Ranpo Kitan, Danchigai


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