Protonstorm: Hello everyone, welcome to another Ani-TAY Interview! I'm your host, Protonstorm, and I'm here today with a very special guest, Stanlick!

Stanlick: Hello everyone!

(Note: For those unfamiliar, Dexomega is an admin on Ani-TAY, Kotaku's anime community. This was an April Fools' post focused on him.)

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Protonstorm: So, in our glorious leader's new world order, you have been appointed the head priest (or the Alpha Pontidex-Omega). What is it like to be in such a prestigious position?

Stanlick: Ah yes, I am very pleased with my appointment into this position. As many of the writers on Ani-TAY know, I am the biggest fan and supporter of Dexomega, so this position only serves to prove that.

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Stanlick: I love this position because it is the embodiment of my love for Dex, as such, I'm am pretty much an actual influence on his daily life. It's almost as if I can reach out and touch the man himself.

Protonstorm: I'm glad to hear that! Our new World Order (tm) is very dependent on the Church of Dexomega, so it is important that it is brought behind a leader as driven as yourself.

Protonstorm: Tell me, when did you first realize that you too loved Dexomega?

Stanlick: There was never really a specific point that I realized my love, you could almost say that I've loved him for my entire existence.

Protonstorm: We all have, we all have.

Protonstorm: You mentioned that it was almost as if you could reach out and touch him. Have you ever been able to meet with the man himself?

Stanlick: With the utmost misfortune, the answer to that is no. I have never been able to meet him, let alone trigger any flags. I am not a childhood friend, I do not go to the same high school, and I've never been given the chance to conspicuously trip onto him.

Protonstorm: That is truly unfortunate. However, thankfully we have the internet to remedy this. Tell me, what does this picture inspire within you?

Stanlick: Wait.

That picture.

How did you get that? This shouldn't have made it into the hand of anyone other than me and the Lord himself!

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Protonstorm: I have no idea what you're talking about, I was freely given this picture by him the other day when I broke into his house and stole it while he was sleeping.

Protonstorm: I mean, nothing.

Protonstorm: I said nothing.

Stanlick: wait this is something we cannot igno…

Protonstorm: Moooooving on...

Protonstorm: So in this new World Order, what does the church hope to accomplish in the name of our one and only?

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Stanlick: Well you see, the anime of this current age just doesn't reflect on the growing love for Dexomega. In order spread this love and begin our takeover of the world we have started the production of our own anime.

Stanlick: Just out of curiosity, have you seen any of our snippets?

Protonstorm: Actually, I have. My apartment used to have a view of a beautiful lake by the mountains, but it has been gifted with an even better view, now that the billboard of this has been placed right in front of it:

Protonstorm: Every night I go to bed and think... I wish I had a Dexomega SNAFU.

Stanlick: Dexomaga SNAFU! This is one that I am very excited for. You can expect the greatest voice acting of this century as performed by Lord Dexomaga. And yes, the billboards! Under the new Dexomegan government we were able to take money away from healthcare and towards promoting our new series.

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Protonstorm: Who needs healthcare when you have Dexomega, am I right? Let's take a look at a couple more of these shows:

Stanlick: Indeed, carry on.

Protonstorm: I hear in that last one the main character is addicted to Dexomega and has to have them all. So relatable!

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Stanlick: Oh, you'll be very pleased with the amount of Dexomega service there is in Dexomega Days.

Protonstorm: Dexomega service? Please, continue.

Stanlick: Before, the best way to sell a Blu-Ray was to riddle your anime with fan service, but through careful experimentation, Dexomega service is twice as selling. It harbours better reviews, higher viewer counts, and of course, better sales. This show, needless to say, is Oscar material.

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Protonstorm: But with such a great presence in the world as a whole, you must have to deal with non-believers. What is that like for you?

Stanlick: W…what?

Non…n…non bel…b…believers?

Is there such a thing? I just don't understand. What kind of per…

Protonstorm: What would you do though? If you found one?

Stanlick: Well, the first thing I would try is conversion. I would most certainly show them Dex's Muv Luv review, found here:

Luv'n Muvs RE:view

But if then they don't see the light, we would escort them here:

Stanlick: We would tie them up and drag them to this room. This is room 101. In this room you are to sit and observe everything that is Dexomega. I would assume that with enough overbearing pressure, anyone would conform to the society that we wish to plan out.

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Protonstorm: And who wouldn't, with such a glorious and imposing figure watching their every move?

Protonstorm: Even Leonardex Da Vinci knew.

Stanlick: Yes, he was an inspiration to us all. In fact, Dexomega's Facebook page uses that very picture for its profile.

Protonstorm: Interesting.

Protonstorm: Well, we'd better wrap this up, I'm afraid that Dexomega might be displeased with too much worship. Any parting words?

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Stanlick: I would like to thank you for having me. Anyone that reads this is sure to be enlightened and have their admiration of Dexomega boosted.

Stanlick: Have a good day sir, follow your heart, but remember that Dexomega leads you to your heart.

Dexomega: Alright, this is ridiculous. I'm shutting this down.

Protonstorm: Wait, I was just concluding-

black screen

...

Dexomega: Marika died for your sins.

You're reading Ani-TAY, the anime-focused portion of Kotaku's community-run blog, Talk Amongst Yourselves. Ani-TAY is a non-professional blog whose writers love everything anime related. Click here to check us out.

A special thanks to Stanlick for 'participating' in the interview.


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