Many of you might be familiar with Dexomega, the famed fire starter and Big Brother of Ani-TAY. Beloved by all, many seek to know everything about him, so I decided to speak with him about his thought process.
“Stop it, that’s creepy,” he said after I asked him for an autograph. “You promised this would just be a quick interview.”
“I started Ani-TAY for the same reason I do everything: because I can. I’m basically a god, not going to lie,” he said in reply to my question. “It wasn’t a matter of whether or not it would be successful, I was doing it so of course it would take off.”
And it’s true. Dexomega’s rise to power has earned him a loyal following, a group that some might call a cult. More enlightened individuals, however, would refer to it as ‘The Way’.
His struggle to create the universe of Ani-TAY was one of epic proportions.
“I remember when we first were under fire for how amazing everything I wrote was,” Dex recalled. “Everyone at TAY was jealous of me, so they threw stones and tomatoes via the comments and the United States Postal Service.”
But once it was done, he reigned supreme.
“I like to use Ani-TAY authors as footrests in my spare time, it’s actually pretty relaxing, you know?” he said.
Oftentimes he does this while they attempt to write reviews, in order to insure that everything is done exactly as he wants.
“I mean, without using these people as sweatshop laborers, it would be near impossible to review the 20+ shows that we review each season,” he explained. “I don’t even have to review anything myself anymore, it’s great.”
“But what got you into anime?” I inquired.
“You already know the answer, because, much like all activities I participate in, I have found this medium pleasing,” Dex replied. “Now, how about I ask you a few questions?”
The first thing he inquired about was his whereabouts.
“Why am I chained to this chair, and how did you get me into this room?” he began.
I explained to him that he had arrived of his own free will, much like all of the other activities he participated in, to which he replied, “Then why is my most recent memory someone whacking me in the back of the head?”
Clearly, he was in a state of delusion, most likely due to the toxic fumes rebels attempting to overthrow him had let loose in his apartment. I offered him a mint.
“Essentially, a deranged fiend has laid siege upon your honor, sir,” I explained.
I told him all about the lies this evil man had said.
“I don’t care, just have him killed,” replied. “Now let me out of this chair.”
“Not until the intervie-” I began, before being kitty-clawed.
Dexomega was freed, and continues to control the world.
“There are going to be some changes around here,” he said. “Beginning by us ending Nisekoi and fixing OreImo!”
“Just remember: Marika died for your sins.”