NEW YORK, UNITED STATES: Area man John Kimber was shocked when he discovered that his much-beloved Ghost in the Shell manga series had been changed for its western localization.
“I couldn’t believe it. It’s like it was just yesterday still. Here I was, all hyped for my favorite manga to be get a special edition release, when I catch wind of the fact that it was censored,” Kimber told reporters.
Indeed, the new deluxe edition by Kodansha features a few changes in its content that remove explicit scenes from an otherwise unchanged story.
“This wasn’t even our decision, Mr. Masamune [author of GitS manga] requested the changes and drew the new pages himself,” literally every employee of Kodansha said, multiple times.
“NO NO NO NO NO, this is CENSHORSHIP! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!” Kimber replied in response to this reasonable answer.
“It’s obviously a conspiracy against the fans,” said Kimber’s friend, Aho Johnson, as he pushed up his glasses with a gleam and readjusted his tinfoil hat. “Naturally, if Kodansha cared about us then they would allow us to see these extra explicit scenes, for scientific purposes.”
“Look, if there isn’t sex, I don’t buy it,” Mendo Kusai, another fan, told us. “It’s not that I want to see the sex, I just don’t like the principle of censorship.” During this sentence, Mr. Kusai readjusted his pants and glanced away from the camera nervously for reasons unknown.
“I want the sex,” said Shou Jiki, yet another fan who arrived as we were interviewing. “If I don’t get my quota of manga babes goin’ at it, then I can’t go to sleep at night.”
Clearly, the fans had a diverse and complex list of reasons for why they were upset at this change. I was about to ask them for their equally-valid opinions on the live-action adaptation of Ghost in the Shell starring Scarlet Johansson, but as soon as I started talking about it, Mr. Kusai let out an unholy shriek. At the risk of a violent riot, this reporter decided to call it a day.